shifting

I don't know how much longer I can keep pulling beauty out of this really hard place to be.

I was gone too long today, even in the company of kindness.  And the difference that was this morning was even more so when I got back. She isn't squeezing back anymore, giving a goneness to the strength my husband felt in her hands last night.

But still she smiles to hear voices.  She joined us in Swing Low, Sweet Chariot this afternoon.  And when the children said goodbye tonight, she patted Asa's back and whispered, Love you.

But I was gone too long today, and now I don't want to leave again.

This is something I don't want to hear over the telephone.