Peek!

christmas past

How lovely it was!

How nice it felt to relax just a little bit and let go of Perfect -- presents, food, decorations, housekeeping.   It was the year of our first yellow pine, and I'm a convert.  The ability to hang all our ornaments (except the glass pickle) made up for the prickly sticklies of bringing it in and putting the lights on. 

Already I'm dreaming of next year:  an early start; handmade, secondhand, and edible gifts; and making it last.  Garlands and paper chains, snowflakes and stockings, candles and singing.  Maybe even homemade eggnog.

And, weather permitting, a walk.

In loving memory of Victor and Jerry Taber, who made Christmas magic each and every year.  And in great appreciation of my dad, who made sure we got to their house in upstate NY each and every year. 

 

 

 

solstice bells

I didn't even listen to the song this year (but oh how I remember listening to it all the way up in the tiny hotel bathroom in Richmond, and I'm about to jump out of my skin to see this for the first time with my honey).

 

But, thanks to Mom and children, I did get to walk in the woods with my sister on the eve of the day. 

And see some sweet smiles. 

And get to look down to see my two favorite pairs of shoes ever.

These things make me happy.

another rainy day

I hope they remember this:  that the rain fell, heavy at times.  That I said yes to reading books.  That we put on snow boots and mittens and went to splash in puddles.  That we had hot chocolate, with double marshmallows for the one who stayed out the longest.

What fades (I hope) are the stinkbugs on the floor, the awkward placement of too much furniture, the litany of things undone.

I am enjoying The Lacuna for lots of reasons:  discoveries about recent history (hello, Bonus Army!  hello, Trotsky!), the world of driven creativity, and the sweet lost language of Violet Brown.  And the fact that all of it is worlds away from the struggles here:  the quest for a loving way to embrace the everyday. 

Quest.  Embrace.  Everyday. 

So be it.

 

very very merry merry

Really, do I need any more than this?

Only to remember, remember, remember:  we are here to love.

Blessed be.

 

 

hmmm ...

Bear with me for just a moment while I think out loud. 

So what I thought I'd do by giving myself an ultimatum is be able to meet it.  It's not working

I really liked the idea of an Etsy shop.  Tlhe brass tacks of technological interactions have popped my bubble, and the already-well-made things that exist have pretty much convinced me just to make for mine. I still like the idea of trading these things I have, these things I like, for money, money to pay for this space, for childcare, for the new water system on Hawley Road.

But if it's the money that's important, I could as easily return to my other calling.  Renew my license, my insurance, let people know I'm back in business. 

And still there is a voice that is quietly saying, Stay home.  Make it work.  Be their mother.  Learn with them what it is to be a family, what it is to create a home, what it is to be together in Love.

I'm not sure those things are mutually exclusive, but I don't know that I have enough concentrated focus to do both. 

John's sermon last week was about using our given talents to be God's voice, hands, presence in the world.  Advent is here.

And somehow these all have to do with each other.